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KIDS

 
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Ian M
Green Cloverleaf


Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Posts: 911
Location: Bath Somerset

PostPosted: Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:17 am    Post subject: KIDS Reply with quote

For those with No children - this is totally hysterical! For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):

01. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep.
02. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with Roller blades, they can ignite.
03. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
04. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
05. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
06. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
07. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
08. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
09. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-yearold man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials showtheydo.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do notlike ovens.
20. The fire department in La Mesa, CA has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade-true story:
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,
"...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?' The teacher paused, then asked the class, "...And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy crap!A talking pig!" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
25. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid

Not tried it personally so if anyone does please let me know what happens
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johnboy
16 Valve


Joined: 26 Jun 2003
Posts: 1061
Location: margate U.K

PostPosted: Sat Jul 03, 2004 12:42 pm    Post subject: Re: KIDS Reply with quote

Dont you just love those little angels Wink
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burgo90
Alfa Sprint


Joined: 29 May 2003
Posts: 118

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 2:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wots clorox gotta b worth a go aint it
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Ben_nz
Gold Cloverleaf


Joined: 30 Sep 2003
Posts: 575
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 4:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hahaha.. If I had Clorox and brake fluid I think I'd fall within that 80%.
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gritsop
Green Cloverleaf


Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 766
Location: Ekali, Athens - Greece

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 2:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi,

A question : what is Clorox? Embarassed

Regards,
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Ian M
Green Cloverleaf


Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Posts: 911
Location: Bath Somerset

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I believe it is a chlorine/bleach type solution...I'll ask my son in the states and let you know for sure
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BILL
Alfa Sprint


Joined: 04 May 2003
Posts: 154
Location: TRIPOLIS GREECE

PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

gritsop wrote:
Hi,

A question : what is Clorox? Embarassed

Regards,

I think its bleaching liquid (χλωρινη ) .
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RFlower
Alfa 33


Joined: 17 Feb 2004
Posts: 432
Location: S of France

PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 2:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Clorox is a trade name for household bleach. If you mix it as suggested it probably gives off some nasty chlorine compound which is very likely to permanently damage your lungs. Not recommended.
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Ian M
Green Cloverleaf


Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Posts: 911
Location: Bath Somerset

PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I tried it with some bleach and nothing happened Crying or Very sad most dissappointing
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