Ian M Green Cloverleaf
Joined: 13 Mar 2003 Posts: 911 Location: Bath Somerset
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Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 1:58 pm Post subject: Forest Gump Goes to Heaven |
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Sorry about all the arrow things but thats how the email arrived to me and I coudnt be bothered to edit them out...but I thought it was worth sharing.
The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is
> at
> > > the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
> > > closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
> > >
> > > St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We
> have
> > > heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
> > > filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination
> > > for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you
> can
> > > get into Heaven."
> > >
> > > Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But
> > > nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam Shor hope the test ain't
> too
> > > hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
> > >
> > > St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
> > > questions.
> > >
> > > First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
> > > Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
> > > Third: What is God's first name?"
> > >
> > > Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day
> and
> > > sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a
> > > chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
> > >
> > > Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin
> > > with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd beToday and
> > > Tomorrow.
> > >
> > > The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what
> I
> > > was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify,
> so
> > > I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks
> St.
> > > Peter. "How many seconds in a year?"
> > >
> > > "Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about
> that
> > > and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
> > >
> > > Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's
> > > name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
> > >
> > > Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February
> > > 2nd, March 2nd. . ."
> > >
> > > "Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this,
> > > and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in
> > > mind.....but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go
> on
> > > with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
> > >
> > > "Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."
> > >
> > > "Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can
> > > understand how you came up with your answers to my first two
> > > questions,but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy
> > > as the first name of God?"
> > >
> > > "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt
> it
> > > from the song. . . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS
> > > ME I AM HIS OWN. . ."
> > >
> > > St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run." _________________ Presntly own
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