Ian M
Green Cloverleaf
Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Posts: 911
Location: Bath Somerset
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 Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 4:17 pm Post subject: Speeding |
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Last night a policeman pulled me over for speeding , walked up to the car and with that classic, patronising smirk, asked: "Runway too short"?
To which I replied. "I'm late for work"
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The policeman was surprised and confused. "A what ? "
"A rectum stretcher"
"and just what does a rectum stretcher do? he asked "
"Well," I said "I start by inserting one finger then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four then with my whole hand
in, work side to side until I can stretch and stretch and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole until it's about 6 feet"
Then the policeman asked questioningly and cautiously. "And just what do you do with a six-foot a$$hole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give it a radar gun and park it behind a bridge..."
Speeding ticket: £105,
Court Costs: £45,
Look on copper's face: Priceless....
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Presntly own
Red Abarth 500c |
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